A favourite thought… not so much, yet rather frequent:
…the thought that life is to be lived between 20 and 30 and after that one IS to settle down and be boring and stagnated. And if one doesn’t calm down there is something profoundly wrong in one’s way of having relationships, in one’s capacity to live here and now and being content; one is simply immature.
So as I dance in the age of 27, I feel the pressure, the opinions, that I should now just keep walkig, head down, do my share and pay my taxes and not be a burden, not stick out, stop expanding. Where is that frickin’ lifeless though coming from??!?!!? It comes from myself, yet it doesn’t originate from me. So whom am I to fight in this battle of not agreeing to settle down and stagnate? Myself? Any other suggestions?
Or am I rather to grasp hold of healing and adventure and actively not care what people make out of my behaviour. To be whole and holy and still hulivili…. is that allowed?? When I looked at the adults around me growing up, I didn’t see life. (Perhaps it was there anyway) Jesus promise me life to the fll, more life I can ever dream of or contain. And I want that. Liveliness. And maturity and vastness and hulivility. I love spending time with close friends my age or a few years my senior, to see them grow freely and mature. Their lives whisper it is possible not to be strangled and conform.
WHY is stagnation’s call still dominating me so?
